Know any good Jokes?

[GrendelKhan{TSU}]

Remember huge TSU JOKEs thread? well here we go again... cause everyone's got a favorite joke. Every time you tell it you get a laugh. Or get punched in the face. Eitherway its funny.
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My joke of the day:


A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, “Quick pour me twelve drinks.” So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, “Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast.”

The guys says, “Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I''ve got.”

The bartender says, “What''ve you got?”

The guy says, “75 cents.”

[Icey]

What you call confusion in harlem?





Father's Day.:ninja1:

[LizardKing{TSU}]

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."

[GrendelKhan{TSU}]

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

[GrendelKhan{TSU}]

One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"
Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."

!

[LizardKing{TSU}]

A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and says hello. He's rather taken back, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My god, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?"

She said "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

[Zenophobe]

ok I just made this one up off the top of my head... the setup needs some work but the punchline is great!


Inconsiderate: putting a bag over an ugly chick's head so you can have sex with her

Considerate: asking first her if she prefers paper or plastic

[GrendelKhan{TSU}]

lmao @ liz and zen.

MY favorite joke. though no one else ever seem to think so. lol oh well...


You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition