Know any good Jokes?

[B{TSU}]

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that ****". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.

[B{TSU}]

A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."
Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, "How are things going at work?" The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy." So the doc figures this isn't the reason.
He asks the guy, "How's your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago." The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch." So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.
He inquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?" The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos."

[B{TSU}]

im sure you can fill in the blanks..lol

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her ***** and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles,grabs his **** and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother"

[LizardKing{TSU}]

lol yeah.. i can fill in the blanks

good one

[B{TSU}]

Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.


Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!

[B{TSU}]

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you

[B{TSU}]

sooo stupid yet i could'nt help but laugh...


In pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name, Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is Ibuprofen, and so on. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and announced today that they have settled on Mycoxafloppin.

[B{TSU}]

So this older guy goes to the doctor asking for a prescription for 'Viagra'. The guy asks for a large dose of the *strongest* variety. The doctor asks why he needs so much. The guy says that two young nymphomaniacs are spending a week at his place. The doctor fills the prescription.

Later that week, the same guy goes back to the doctor asking for pain killers. The doctor asks 'why, is your **** in that much pain?', 'no', says the guy, 'it's for my wrists - the girls never showed up!'

[GrendelKhan{TSU}]

LOL!! good ones' meth...


You might be a redneck if. . .


1.More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

2.You think the stock market has a fence around it.

3.You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

4.You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

5.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

6.Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

7.You've ever used lard in bed.

8.Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

9.You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

10.You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

11.Your home has more miles on it than your car.

12.Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

13.You've ever been arrested for loitering.

14.You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

15.There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

16.You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

17.You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

18.You own a homemade fur coat.

19.Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

20.Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

21.You've totaled every car you've ever owned.

22.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

23.Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

24.There is a wasp nest in your living room.

25.The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

26.You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

27.There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

28.You burn your front yard rather than mow it.