The customer is not always right!!

[Tortur]

(An older customer calls in for tech support with his satellite receiver.)

Me: “Okay, your signal strength is pretty good.”

Customer: “Right.”

Me: “Let’s just verify all your channels are coming in.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Can you please put it on channel 400?”

Customer: “No problem, hold on.” *dials 4-0-0 into the telephone*

Customer’s wife: “Give me that!”

(She gets control of the phone.)

Customer’s wife: *laughing* “So sorry, he’s such an idiot!”

[Tortur]

Gas Station

(It’s late at night and a solitary customer pulls up outside and fills her car at the pump. She calmly opens the station’s door and comes inside to pay at the booth, but realizes she left her wallet in the car.)

Customer: “OH MY GOD! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! MY WALLET IS IN THE CAR, UNLOCK THIS DOOR!”

Me: “It is unlocked.”

Customer: “But it says you’re closed!”

Me: “What does the other side of the sign say?”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid* “Open, but it says you’re closed!”

Me: “Why does it say ‘Open’ on the other side of the sign?”

Customer: “Look, you…” pauses, then blushes bright red* “… oh.”

Me: “You need some chocolate.”

Customer: *smiles* “Yes, I do.”

[][v][urderous Domination{TSU}]

Damn tort.. You work as a cable tech and a gas station attendant. Where the hell do you get the time to play U.T? lol.



OKay okay I just needed to say that because I found the jokes funny and I like how you incorporated yourself into the situations.

[Icey]

LOL

[Tortur]

Originally Posted by ][v][urderous Domination{TSU} Damn tort.. You work as a cable tech and a gas station attendant. Where the hell do you get the time to play U.T? lol.

Oh, your wrong. I play UT and have no time for work.

[Tortur]

Computer Store

Customer: “Hi, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have Windows on my computer and it’s not booting up properly anymore.”

Me: “Did you buy the PC here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you buy Windows here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid I can’t really help you with that.”

Customer: “Look here, you sell Windows. I downloaded and installed Windows, and it’s not working. You’re supposed to help me.”

Me: “Let me just get it right. You’ve downloaded a copy of Windows, installed it and now it’s giving you problems.”

Customer: “Yes, and it’s your job to help me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Here’s Microsoft support phone number. Call them and tell them exactly what you told me.”

[MyStIcA]

Originally Posted by Tortur Oh, your wrong. I play UT and have no time for work.

Nyahhahahhahhahhahahahhahaahhahah!!!! does that mean you're the person that not needing money or should i say you're the person that was on the money?

[GrendelKhan{TSU}]

Originally Posted by Tortur Me: “Oh, okay. Here’s Microsoft support phone number. Call them and tell them exactly what you told me.”

that is the leetest reply for support ever! lol

[Tortur]

Bank

(Note: this story takes place at a bank in Zimbabwe.)

Teller: “Good morning sir, how may I help you?”

Me: “Good morning, please may I withdraw 100 billion?”

(This is about 1 US dollar.)

Teller: “I’m very sorry sir, but we do not have enough sun.”

Me: “What!?”

Teller: “We cannot give you money because we do not have enough sun.”

Me: “Why do you need sun to give me money?”

Teller: “Oh, we are having a power cut, and the solar panel isn’t receiving enough sun to run the computers.”

Me: *laughs* “Thank you very much for the best excuse, ever.”

[Tortur]

Video Rental Store

(A few years ago I was working at a video store when there were still late fees, and this exchange occurred after I scanned a couple’s rentals

Me: “Okay, sir, with the late fee from your last rental, your total is $9.50.”

Husband: “What do you mean a late fee? I ALWAYS return my movies on time, so you need to remove that late fee right now!”

Me: “Well sir, you returned–”

Husband: “I said I ALWAYS return my movies on time and you need to remove that late fee right now! I’m not paying this!”

Me: “Then you won’t be renting these movies tonight. All late fees must be paid before renting again.”

Husband: “I’m NOT paying this, so you better take it off now!”

Wife: “What movie is this late fee for anyway? We ALWAYS return our movies on time!”

Me: “This is for Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts. You rented it on the 6th and it was due on the 11th, but you didn’t return it until the 15th. ”

Husband: “Oh yeah, that’s right, we never got around to watching it. I’ll pay for it.”

Wife: “We never rented Runaway Bride and I was out of town on the 6th.”