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If you're looking for a root of this problem, Strider, look no further then yourself. In all honesty, your anger, jealousy, impatience and acting before thinking issues are the only reason why you're depressed and feeling bad. You're just expecting your gf to do something bad to you - cheat on you or lie to you or whatever, just so that you could point at her and say: "I knew it!" and not be blamed for it yourself. Certain things are cause by the situation you cannot change, but far from everything. We all have or have had serious problems in our life, some of which where so deep you can't even imagine - and nor can I, for that matter, but that is not the reason to blame everything on those problems and act as if it's not your fault. I seriously don't know why you'd ask her a question about a hypothetical situation that is one: statistically very improbable and two: going to result in a negative answer in any case. If you want to have a good relationship with your gf, the only advice I have to give you is to take care of your before mentioned issues. If you find this advice useful and are going to attempt to take care of your issues then I wish you luck, if not,... well, let's just say this is a public forum and I'm free to post my 2 cents.
Defeinintely some of it is the distance. DEFININTELY. I've done many a long distance relationship... in my youth and when I should have know better. Its not puberty.. but its plays a part. as does EVERYTHIUNG.... ie: a combo of many things. And its combo and feeling of it being..EVERYTHING that often gets us the most. rains it pours, right? heck, sometiems wish it WOULD be one thing and the "can't pin it on one thing" sometimes IS the thing that is hardest. At least for me (and I think many others). Even understanding that sometiems helps. And actually, sometimes... its better that way!! Why? because you can gotta start breakin it down. And then dealing with the issues one by one, piece by piece, step-by-step and realizing the SMALL successes along the way can be satisfying and one day you just notice a lot of little things being resolved... adds up to a heck of lot together. if its one big thing.. .it feels like you never get there. or never make progress. in reverese, as I said, happiness is like that. Think its a goal and it will always be somewhere off in the distance... KNOW and LIVE it like it is the journey as much as the destination...and your world begins to look different: IMMEDIATELY. So.... Dont know why you are depressed? Try this: Actively think about it. write it down if possible. ceratinly talk about it. (remember even if my suggestions do nothing or are crap): The excerice in "looking" at it actively is often very... enlightening. So give a go. You might be surprised. That is, next time you DO get depressed or angry. Try to actually remember or sense or break down exactly what you are feeling. And descrbe it (on paper or at least to yourself--but writing is the best). This will not be easy and its a lifelong pursuit. so saying or describing ANYTHING is good. There is no right or wrong about it. The only mistake is NOT doing it. OR do it AFTER or BEFORE you hit a low (that's often hardest...cause no one wants to relive a down by examining it when they aren't actually battling with it. did that make sense? anyway... if you CAN do it now! or as soon as you get the energy). So, what is the real deal with that? Knowing and recognizing when you are "there" (in that bad place) and konw when you are not in itself is a HUGE success. cause you can't fight the enemy if you don't know it. much less beat it. Is even harder when the enemy is ultimately youreslf (the toughest of all)....and anger and depression IS always about oneself... not what others are doing to them (unless you are a victim of a crime. let me know if that's the case...cause then my suggestion would be a bit different). anyway "Know thy self"...good rule, right? Well in order to do so.. you ahve to ACTIVELY look. And it easy. so start looking. againk start by recognizing the feelings, and start by look (within?) for the triggers. Te BIG "why" will come out later or naturally. So for now, look for the differences in how you feel when you are angry and depressed (and I don't just mean "now I feel angry" ). We all have triggers and particular feelings or state of mind when angry or down. Some more have more triggers than others, and some more sensitive to them than otheers. but we ALL have em. FIND YOURS. But once you build a baseline.. you can do much with it. That is, then you can start understanding how to recognize before it gets outta hand, accept it, control it and ultimately... BEAT it. Yes, beat the living crap outta of depression and anger. lol. yes the irony is thick. Note again: It is an ongoing thing. again, with no REAL finish line other than being ok with yourself in the past and happy TODAY and motivated by tomorrow. That's my take. Whethter you go for it or not...is up to you. But its an actionable plan.... and that is something. And something is better than just wondering wtf is wrong all the time, no? And you can always switch plans when one doesn't get the results you want. Side question: ever try hypnosis? been hypnotized? or seen it done (live)?
